Perfect Imperfections

2011-03-08T21:42:00.000-08:00

The Voyage – Part 1

Embarked upon a voyage last week,

Travelled with a sailor that day..

I’ve heard the saying, one at every port,

Sure didn’t feel that way..

Arrived at our destination,

Early in the morn..

Moments of the night before,

Still seemed to linger on..

My father had questioned me,

The sailor had done that too..

‘Twas scared of what the two might say,

Based on what they think they knew..

But pleasantries with quickly over,

Within a second or a flash of one..

All that stress over nothing,

The introduction was finally done..

Bidding farewell, we parted ways,

And to our homes we went..

Within minutes of our arrival

Messages were sent …..

Few things then were very apparent,

(We were) Either bored or missed each other like hell..

So we met that evening as we now planned

And everything went more than just well..

Best sea food dinner on beach ,

Clubbing after, into the night..

As we on back to his place,

Our arms 'round each other were tight..

2010-12-28T23:41:00.000-08:00

Questions , questions on my mind .. Answers that I can’t define..

Hate the way I’m feelin ..

Hate this way of dealin …

Questions , questions on my mind ..

Answers that I can’t define ..

Can’t do things the right way..

Guess I never could…

Complications the only constant …

My life ever understood..

Hate the way I’m feelin ..

Hate this way of dealin ..

Questions , questions on my mind ..

Answers that I can’t define ..

I try so hard at times …

I try too much I think …

And then I go on the other extreme..

Emotions always outta sync ..

Hate the way I’m feelin …

Hate this way of dealin …

Questions , questions on my mind ..

Answers that I can’t define ..

Is this how its supposed to feel ?...

How do I know if this is real ?...

Questions , questions on my mind ..

Answers that I can’t define …

2010-12-03T22:33:00.000-08:00

Our Eyes They Meet

Went to a fete today,
There all on my own ..
Met a couple of friends,
Could see we all have grown ..

Husbands, wives, sons and daughters,
Everyone with someone..
And as I gazed at a passer by,
God I missed you hon..

Staring into space I turned my head,
And suddenly across the field..
Like two strangers in a love story,
Our eyes they suddenly meet ...

2010-11-22T02:53:00.000-08:00

Round and Round

Round and round my heads a spinning,
Thoughts and thoughts they flow..
Don’t have the answers to the questions I’m asking,
Riddles and riddles are all I know..

Sleeping late at night and up early next morning,
Exhaustion lullaby puts my brain to rest
Can’t really stop this anxious feeling
How did this turn into such a mess ?

Round and round my heads a spin ,
Thoughts and thoughts they flow
Don’t have the answers to the questions I’m asking
Riddles and riddles are all I know

Enjoying the moments

2010-09-10T03:36:00.000-07:00

Life’s been different for quite a while
Fleeting moments the constant these days
A different outlook, a different perspective
Living life in a whole new way

In and out is what I do now
News faces and places I see
In this tizzy of elated feelings
These moments have set me free

Don’t know how, the world she works
Or why things happen this way
All I know is this wonderful feeling
And I’ll enjoy it while it stays

2010-07-26T04:40:00.000-07:00

Surreal Moments

I woke up this mornin with smile upon my face

And a feeling I could not explain

Though blood shot eyes and dark circles existed

What I felt on the inside was great

Gazed out the window , at the sky above

Grey clouds still the colour of the day

Turned my head back on the pillow n closed my eyes

And the memories began to play

Tossed out of bed with much effort

Hoping not to end the dream

I’m so used to seeing those places and faces

Its just one of those fairy tale scenes

Stepped out of my house and down came a shower

Looked up at sky and drops that fell

So used to the rain and being wet these 3 days

I was under the non-umbrella spell

Off to the office, like a zombie on the road

I wished the weekend didn’t end

I’m really missing those surreal moments

And all my new found friends

The Other Woman

2010-07-15T03:46:00.000-07:00

We’ve always bitched about the other woman
Sometimes more often than not
How can a person be so cruel
To never given the original a thought ?

I’ve always hated the other woman
She’s led him on too in a way
How can she play this cat and mouse game
Has she no idea of what the original will face ?

This other woman is selfish ,
Thinks of no one but herself..
Destroying anothers life ..
God this woman definitely needs help ..

I often blamed the other woman
And all the trouble she creates
Its weird to now think about it
I’m the other woman today !!!

Lost in a World of Transition

2009-12-11T04:33:00.000-08:00

Searching for my soul, lost in a life that’s not mine
Desperately seeking those moments at the turns
Tired by what I supposed to do …
Tired by what I meant to do ……..
Tired by what I want to do …….
Close my eyes , take a deep breadth
There are so many things i regret yet do not regret
Who am I ?
Is this who I am ?
Is this who I want to be ?
Stare into space and wander the corners of my mind
Every word ..every thought …every experience
I’m lost ….

Phases 1-Rollercoaster Ride

2009-11-09T04:04:00.000-08:00

Its strange the phases we go through in life
One minuite low and the next one high
‘tis been a rollercoaster for me this year
High-low-high , lost something in there

It started in Jan fresh and new ,
My ‘a friend’ moved home, n life it changed.
Day in day out and into the night ,
Together always, by each others side..

Off every morning we used to run for the train ,
Meet again for lunch and in evening again,
Pack our bags soon, hurry lets move…
If we don’t leave now, movie n dinner is screwed

On the other side another friend waits ,
He pushes for the answer , though knows it too late
‘Tis moments in time that so soon changed
Crushed his heart for the same guy again ..

‘Tis March and April ‘a friend’ and I still goin strong,
It seems as if nothing could go wrong …
And time she passes and old habits die hard ..
Up-down-up-down the rollercoaster starts..

Fast forward to end july 19th in fact..
Got a fast track from ‘a friend’ the sweetest thought...
We went for a movie after browsing round the mall
Gift wrapped and stuff, till the end of it all…

Fast forward to 7th Aug , I’m out of the city on work ,
Come home soon , will take an early flight too, so we can meet up
‘tis been a month since we last met..
Yet on the phone constantly in touch ..

Goodmornings –goodnights and all that jazz
No different from being here , it still has its charm ..
Hurry , hurry hurry I told you leave soon,
I’m staying awake , come to my room ..

Why didn’t you leave, we could have caught a movie and dinner
Took an early fight so we could be together..
Foolish little me, thought I had all the time in the world ..
Did know that the next day what I would overhear..

We met in the room and chatted for 10 (mins)
Also planned to make up for the lost moments spent ..
The next day we did Mc Donalds and a movie ..
‘Love Aj Kal’ resting on each others shoulder…

Went to hug him before left for home 8th afternoon..
Don’t get so senti will be back in two months nah ..
You know I’m goin for work project management stuff
Gonna meet up with Rahul so he can teach me this thing..

9th Aug , we spoke in the morning and something seemed strange ,
We fought a bit and I called back to apologise for the same
A missed answered phone ..in a pocket it moved …
Bits and pieces I remember is what I heard

Few words in English .. (hmm that very strange ..)
Hes home right now , why not marathi again ?
Phone shuffling in his pocket .. am I becoming deaf? ..
Thought I heard him say getting engaged to Trupti and all the rest

This must be wrong …couldn’t have got that right ,,
He would have something when we were together Friday night ..
He said he’ll be back all casual n stuff..
Hes there to meet Rahul for some project management crap ..

I go on listening .. I hear her name …
I must be dreaming or goin insane …
A missed call on her cell..
A number I saved long ago .

I call once from my dialer , she answers the phone ..
The sound in the back , it seems vaguely familiar..
I call again …I think I’m sure …
The 3rd missed call and hes answered the phone

My heart has just stopped by his voice alone …
I hold it inside me and peep not a word ..
Disconnecting the call I’m in zombie world
…………………………………………..

I pull my self together , some unfinished business..
I call from my normal phone like nothing had happened
I tell him I need it back , its urgent and stuff ..
He acts like hes worried and gets worked up ..

What happened ? tell me nah ..
He lays a lecture on me on how close we are ..
How can you not tell me after all we been through ?
I hold back my tears … if he only knew I knew…

Post that day I lost it .. became psychotic and all
I could see my self falling …I could see it all..
I’ve changed .. I’ve changed a lot from that day ..
Few good mostly bad , Phases in life sometimes make you that way ……………….

Fastrack- Move On!!

2009-07-21T05:32:00.000-07:00

Irony of the Advertisement- So we got closer n closer n closer n closer n closer … too close!!! .. Fastrack watches now in a new range .. move on !!

Got a ‘Fastrack’ on Sunday,

A gift from “a friend”,

Its classy n chick n I love it,

It’s the most thoughtful present.

On Mon ‘twas thinking if I should wear it,

Or put it in the showcase instead,

Never worn such an expensive watch before,

Then I remember what the presenter said …

“You used to wear a watch before

And your wrists’ been bare for sometime now”

“Yeah my old one got spoilt in Goa”, said I

We smiled cause we both knew how …

“I thought bout buying it for a long time since,

Today, you could choose a 20% off one as well”

So I’ve given up on logic n reason

Good Decision?- I’m hoping time will tell…

And when I look at my watch each day,

I can’t help myself …. I smile,

And cherish the moments we spend together,

Even if its just a short while….

Suicide Pill ...

2009-03-19T22:24:00.000-07:00

Walkin along the road today ,
Walkin , walking, can’t find my way

Up and down on these streets I tread
People passing by, I losing my head

Decisions, decisions!! are all I hear these days
Say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ …or be blown away

Confounding confusion ,oh bloodly hell
What life am I living, am I under a spell ?

For what I want I cannot get,
And what I do I may regret.

(I’m trying to right the wrong of past,
Hoping somehow to make this one last .
I don’t want to lose him, but I can’t say ‘Yes’,
Its not fair he pays, for what rightly my mess.
I wish I had more time, I wish he understood,
But how can I ask that, when I never could…)

The Train (Onward journey)

2009-02-19T20:36:00.000-08:00

One highlight of our day is the local train
Its so convient , yet such a pain !!

He calls me every morning
Says come over soon ..
“Hurry !! Hurry !! Hurry !!
Or the rickshaw’ll move”

Out I dart, and over to his place,
1 sec away, but to me it’s a race,

Running from his house, to the bus stop on the road,
Bouncing along, are our heavy loads,

“Sharing Hai Bhaisabh ?”, to the ricks passing by,
(Finally!!) Our usual guy stops with a smiling hi,

“Whats the time ?” says he , as I look at my watch,
“Chill ray nut , 5 mins still left on the clock” ,

Jump outta the rick, and dart up the stairs,
Run Run Run !,-are our morning prayers,

We’ve reached the platform, its 8:48,
Find your compartment fast, or its gonna be late,

Jumped in at 8:50 , at :51 she starts,
Now search for our seat – (Oh our pounding hearts!!)

Sitting in the train, stare at things in out path,
People doing stuff, for their own morning start,

Half an hour up and the journey is over,
Ooops must have dozed off (thank god!!)no drool on my shoulder,

Step out of the train , greet each other again ,
Off to our jobs as the morning journey ends….

Disclaimer for me!!

2008-11-07T02:29:00.000-08:00

I wrote a mail to my ex today … a retaliation in a sense to mail sent by him ..decided to post a part of it cause I guess its true and funny as such and those friends who don’t know all the guidelines … here is an official disclaimer* to knowing me

There are a few things you may still not know about me , which I guess is my fault cause you got in the easy way the first time round ....YES I'M TOO MUCH ....
These are some of the guidelines for knowing me, all my friends know them:-
a) when i give respect i expect to get it back
b) i don't like being ordered
c) i will give you a frank opinion when you need to hear it .. no matter what the outcome
d) i love my friends to bits and they know i'll always have their back
e) this does not exclude the fact that i will slap them in their faces when they act like asses and i expect the same from them ...
f) screw me one, twice , thrice ... the fourth time be prepared for war
g) i can be very annoying and demanding at times , but i do make up for it by being sweet, understanding and accomodating as well
h) i will always be there for anyone who really needs me all days 24*7 , but i do expect them to be there at least 24*1 in 365 days
i) don't hurt the people i care about ... i may not always fight , but i will when i need to
j) don't try and understand me .. all you'll get is a migrane or worse .. most of the times i don't understand myself or know where my life is going
k) i don't have the best advice , i make things up as i go along and try to learn from everyones experiences ... that doesn't mean that its crap either ... most times it spot on ...
l) when dealin with me .... imagine your life if i did not exist in it ...if its better, then please eliminate me from yours immediately .... i really don't wanna be responsible for screwed up lives ....
m) finally be prepared for anything when you know me... i guarantee one heck of a ride if nothing else .....

Now you think not just once ... over n over if you must before say another word ...

* disclaimer is subject to additions

What If ??? !!! ;-)

2008-08-11T04:30:00.000-07:00

What if our lives were an open book?
And everyone could peek and have a look…

What if little secrets, aren’t as little as they seem?
And people realise it’s a horrible dream …

What if I met a stranger today?
And find out I knew her in a different way …

What if I’m no longer who I am?
And what you see is only a sham …

What if we open doors that we always shut ?
And I wonder what we’ll find all locked up …

What if , what if is my moto these days…
What if what if is the game I play….

Coffee Shop Boy !!!

2008-07-26T23:33:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, met a coffee shop boy …

Coffees I see were his weapons of choice…

Poor little guests, high on caffeine they are…

Unsuspecting souls, to the coffee shop power…

Caffine , more caffine please !!!!

Let me hide the deceptions in reality ..

Stories and lies and alibi’s….

Covered in choco rum ..sweet words and surprises …

Coffee shop boy , I sometimes feel sorry for you …

But then I see again, you do same things with someone new …

Coffee shop boy don’t you feel bad …

Is this the kind of life you wish to have ?

Tell the truth, face the consequences of the lies..

Someday you’ll find, you’ll make the peace inside…

I know you were hurt once long ago..

So were many of us, if you need to know!!!

Its hard I realise to find your way …

When this is what you’re accustomed to these days..

Don’t you want a better life??

A freer one devoid of lies!!!

Do what you have to, to break away..

Start afresh and mend your ways…

Change your name, change your life…

Leave the city, (trust me) you’ll be alright…

I know you well, little coffee boy …

Will let you in on a secret…

I once played game of truth and lies …

PS: Don't think you can pull me back with my book... any untruth makes the rope weaker ...

Note:- This is a post that should have been uploaded in May'08 , though I don't think it makes a difference even if its late...

Losing heart to reality …..

2008-07-14T21:57:00.000-07:00

Verse 1
Walking down the sub way today
She kept looking down she stared away
She’s not the girl she used to be..
Seems to be losing heart to reality...

She stands at the station
Waits for the morning train ..
The life she leads, a constant strain ..
Seems to be losing heart to reality …

The train pulls in, she pushes and jumps,
Feels like garbage now, in a garbage dump..
Shoving, choking, need air to breathe..
Seems to be losing heart to reality…

Verse 2
The people she sees
The places she goes
Face upon faces
None of them show

Murals on walls
Penned lines in old diaries
Dreams long ago
Buried secrets, for no one to know

Answers !!!

2008-06-14T03:15:00.000-07:00

The answers we look for, we sometimes find in the strangest places.

An epiphany they call it, sudden enlightenment in one moment

What do we do? Do we have the strength to see things we don’t want to?

How hard is the first step? Tough as hell,..right? How important is it ?

We never really understand the values of asking the small questions …

We never really it till we ask them … till we answer them honestly ….

Sometimes we realize that once they are answered ….we need to walk..

Only we can control what we feel , we need to make tough choices ….

Do we walk?...do we just settle for something else, other that what we hoped for? ..

Will settling be settling at all...when the day is through…do we take a chance?

Never look back .... though we turned back many times before...

When to we make these decisions? … Maybe we need to start from today..

‘Carpe Diem’ – we always wait to seize the day ….

The longer we wait …the longer we hide ….

We know its time …when we learn…

Compromise because we want …

Not because we are trained to ….

Where happy thoughts stay...

2008-05-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

I cry alone for no one to see,
Put on a smile and face reality...

'' Little child in me cry tonight
Drown yourself in this lullaby ..
Close your eyes and dream away
cause as dawn breaks you need to face the day...

There once was a girl who lived by herself ,
daddy and mummy of course but she needed no help ...
Strong little girl people would say ,
when she grows up , she'll go a long way ...

The poor little girl , she had to be strong ,
growing up she hoped , her prince would come along ...
She sang her heart out, when she was bored ,
she always sang, on a lonely road ...

Then one morning , her song was heard ,
10 paces between them, as they waited for a bird...
On her they flew, to an amazing place,
One lead to two, and their relationship raced ..

She knew she had finally, found her prince ,
Two forever , they've been happy since ....

Little girl, how do i tell you,
I'm sad you have to face it this soon ..
Your in the real world,
No prince outside this room ...

Hush little girl , keep dreaming away ...
I pray you die in your sleep , where the happy thoughts stay ...

Beyond Redemption

2008-05-26T05:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we find ourselves beyond redemption,
In places we were never meant to be.
A different person from who we were,
Adrift in a sea of anonymity.

Struggling with forces that will always be,
We try to change our fate.
Is there hope beyond redemption ?
Or is it just too late ?

The Look

2008-05-08T21:03:00.000-07:00

On the bed in a tee and shorts,
Hair messed up and spread.

All worn out from the previous night,
Laugh, as you try massagin my head.

You stare at me with those deep browns,
What is it that you see?

Lookin in your eyes, feel the same pain,
Is that what you recognize in me?

The Deed

2008-05-08T05:07:00.000-07:00

Selling your soul
On the road to nowhere
Demons inside you rest

Traveling far
Places in nightmares
Doing things that you detest

Close your eyes
Walk ahead, and
Numb yourself to pain

The deed is done
It’s all over
Can you live again?

Paper Boats

2008-04-18T20:43:00.000-07:00

Few paper boats , one rainy day,
Floated out of their puddles , far far away,
Joining different streams, they crossed various plains,
Till the mouth of the river where two met in the end.

Through harsh currents, they floated side by side,
Through day and night, on what seemed an endless ride,
But endless wasn't endless for very long,
One cloudy night, in came the storm

The winds howled and it began to pour,
And one paper boat, it suddenly tore,
The sky cleared up , and the rain it stopped,
But one paper boat was pretty messed up.

Though the other paper boat tried, it didn't want to be helped ,
So it floated by the side , made it presence felt,
Now both paper boats knew the damage was done,
Still down life's river by its side till they both are gone....

Be the one to make the difference, don't lose yourself on the way !!!

2008-04-01T04:25:00.000-07:00

I don’t know bout a lot of things in this world, but I do know a few about myself …. I want to make a difference … A friend of mine always talks bout doin something great … but people sometimes fail to understand what great can really be …Money now a days is a highly over- rated asset I feel.... Yes , I agree its imp but….where is the line drawn , where does it stop being not just plain imp and starts becoming our life….

I used to admire my cousin … she was never rich to start with, learnt the hard way …..suddenly overnight , married money …but it didn’t change her for a very long time … I can’t say that anymore and the sad part is that she sincerely believes that she hasn’t still, while anyone around her can see how she has …. I sometimes wonder if that may happen to me and I’m tryin from now not to let it…

Sometimes, we also fail to realize a lot of things ...we see the things we and our loved ones never had … and we want to give them the best … and that’s not a bad thing , but I also feel that when we give the best , we also need to give them a taste of the worst …..

My nieces have never traveled by the BEST bus …always the car … the best schools ..with horse riding , archery, swimming, etc ….I love the fact that I was in a normal school …it kept me grounded in so many ways…. Yes I would love to go horse riding and do archery, I still can …. But some things that are far more valuable to me and have shaped me are our social service trips … I still remember the look of excitement on Roshini’s face when I bought her a piece of chocolate cake …. The thankful smile on the face of the women I went to help in the field in Titwali when she was cuttin the rice …..

Recently a friend made a statement to me “why are you sittin at 2:00 am in the morning and taking this info from me …that too for the f**cking company” … I can’t really remember exactly what I said but I know I said it was important to me …

Everyone is capable of makin a difference … I only wish that the few who wanted to don’t end up losing their way….it just takes one small deed …something that really pinches you… When I said this at an innovation workshop , the trainer smiled and asked me to watch a movie- “Pay it forward” …I have …. I hope I make that same difference… I don’t care if I’m ever remember or no one knows my name…. I just want to make in difference in everything I do and I want to make people do the same.

Alcoholic mix !!!

2008-03-27T21:32:00.000-07:00

!

Coke and whiskey
Vodka and rum
Mix them together
And have some fun

One glass of wine
Another of gin
Combination central
The deadliest sin

Now hold the glass high
Toast to the pain
Turn it around
Pour it down the drain !!!

Misunderstood ….

2008-03-27T02:38:00.000-07:00

.

I know some people think I’m not letting go
They feel I’m tryin, to run through closed doors
I don’t blame people for failing to see
Was trying to gain some ground on normality

Its hard to love and be just friends
Together today and apart next weekend
I’m sorry about what happened these days
Until now didn’t know where things stood anyway

Don’t know if its too late to make amends
But really would like it if we could be friends…

2008-03-27T01:33:00.000-07:00

Walking …..

I’m walking down this road again
Alone once more, I’m on my own
I’ve traveled various paths before
But this time round, my heart's more sore

Strange how people pass you by
Strange how people change your life
It took me 4 years to find someone
Completely understood where I was comin from

Didn’t wanna walk down this path again,
But , walking once more cause we’re now just friends.

2008-03-12T05:54:00.000-07:00

God Help Me !!!!
I’ve been a little pre-occupied lately; some might even say a little obsessed …Hmm its strange to think what heights you’re capable of reaching given the right provocation … Started reading a friends blog today … it brought back memories of days when I just lived …..

Okay so I confess, been a little stressed out lately … but after a nice episode of being caught sleep walking and talking (hey just for your info , its my first time) I’m ready to head towards normality again.

This year has been one amazing ride from the start…. Spent an amazing New Years in Goa with the best of company… but even new years night was full of surprises… confessed my heart out to someone … it scared the shit out of me , but it was worth it …. I seriously hated keeping the truth hidden for so long…

Now, when I say it was worth it .. god!! besides making me feel a little at easy, I seriously urge people --- don’t open Pandora’s Box on New Years Eve !!!

I never really understood how confusing the human species is till I met someone….scary thing is, each time I talk to that someone, I think I’m starting to understand the language of his insanity…. God Help Me!!!

2008-02-13T22:42:00.000-08:00

Its those moments …….

Its hard to explain those moments in life
Making some experiences more worthwhile
I’m constantly learning and making mistakes
Through it all though, finding my way.

I love the things that people may hate
I love the burps and farts he makes
Never does thing, like a normal guy
Yet every action, a pleasant surprise.

A kiss by the lake, diyas hand made,
Retro in carvala, jiving the night away.
Scolding stares for a low cut dress
A pleasing smile when he’s impressed

Pushing me to strive, excel in different ways
When I’m confused always knowing what to say
I’m not sayin he’s perfect, not sayin he’s the best
But as perfect-imperfections go he’s above the rest

2008-01-11T03:18:00.000-08:00

I lost a true friend today …

Today I lost a friend …. In this world so filled with deception and lies I found someone in my hour of need…. The only one who told the whole truth … I never expected to like the person so much ….. I learnt about myself, I learnt about others…. I learnt too much, someone might say… But what is learning to much? Does it make a difference? I always thought that the truth is always good …. My misconception I guess…There are two things I am sad about today…

1) I lost a friend and a mentor in a sense
2) My mentor gave up on the truth

I can’t say misconception …..I still believe in it ….and if the time comes and if I have to lose what matters to me immensely, I will …… I won’t be able to truly live if I don’t …..

2007-11-15T04:33:00.000-08:00

I, You ---- WE!!!

As she walked along the path of no return,
Her face revealed her fate,
It was clear in every tear
She knew no other way

Slowly she stepped towards the track
Peering for the train
To any other, just a commuter
Anticipating the usual delay

Two minutes on the indicator
Another teardrop falls,
She bows her head, hair covers her face
(Hope no ones seen it all

One minute left, it will all be over
Ease my leg towards the edge,
Now the timing should be right
5….4…321 goodbye!!!)

So caught up are we in our own lives,
Looking but never seeing ,
Brought up today not to interfere,
Fearing we’ll end up in between.

Aren’t we the same at some time,
Don’t we also fall?
Can’t we realize a simple ‘‘are you ok?”
Might have changed it all.

2007-11-15T03:56:00.000-08:00

Love Apples……. Reach ………Musica !!!!!

The other day my boss, my colleague (friend) and myself went out for a stroll in the lanes near the place where we work. My boss had a craving for ‘guavas’ (‘amrud’- hindi translation). While we desperately searched for a cart that sold that fruit we discussed our childhood and the things that we used to do. The conversation went from school days, to the commonality between the phrases used by our parents, finally drifting towards how we used to climb trees are pick the fruits.

As we walked along there was no sign of the guava seller only apples and bananas being sold until, I ended up making the following statement, “ I can see so many fruit , apples, bananas and now sweet limes except guavas” (ok ,it was a large distance away and it turned out the sweet limes were really guavas, which we realized a few steps later)

Muching the masala and salt coated guava, we discussed how we used to sneak out and pick these fruit from the tree as kids. Happily contributing to the conversation, I shared another childhood story, talking about how we used to pile open umbrellas and cover it with a bed sheet to make a tent. Continuing I spoke about how we each used to bring something to share from tamrind , to sev , to rasna (in those days a loved drink), to bimblis, to love apples…….. Now here is where the real story begins ………….

Neither of them knew what ‘bimblis’ or ‘love apples’ were, and for the life of me I did not know the Hindi translation for the same. So they happily started stating that I had invented a new fruit, with a fond fascination for the word ‘love-apples’. My bright spark colleague tells my boss, you see she may be using the wrong name and happily narrated the incident where I called turmeric – saffron. To try and salvage what little of a face I had left I asked two other colleagues near by for the translation. (Knowing that they had probably heard of the fruit). They didn’t know the Hindi work, but at least they new the fruit!!(Ha, I can show my face in public again)

Today, my boss started asking a few other friends if the knew what ‘love-apples’ were, my colleague( friend) joined in hoping to have some fun. Little did she realize how the conversation would turn….. So they started (btw the Hindi word I found out is ‘Jamb’), and moved to the desk of another boss who heard only ‘love-apple’ to which she asked.

(ok I was trying to avoid using her name but its going to get too complicated – my colleague (friend) is Sangeeta). GETTING BACK

“Sangeeta produces ‘love-apples’?”……my boss added “Sangeeta, produces ‘love-apple’!!!” We took one look at each other and burst out laughing. Another colleague Rama added “Sangeeta produces ‘love-apple’ in her backyard?” While another colleague Arati repeated laughing “Sangeeta produces ‘love-apple’ in her backyard !!!”. With yet another colleague joining the conversation hearing the laughter at this end.

“Sangeeta produces ‘love-apple’, are you talking about the thing that appears when she smiles?”. We all laughed ever louder while Vicky added “Adi, are you trying to flirt with Sangeeta” . Adi’s reply , “ you know I once wrote a poem about a girls smile”……my boss, “you wrote a poem about Sangeeta?” . By this time my boss and I had tears rolling down our cheeks as we laughed ….sangeeta laughing too, trying to cover her cheek to hide the blush that was coming on. Adi “the poem that I wrote earlier was not about her” so my boss added “so, are you going to now write a poem about her – three key works – sangeeta , love- apple and smile” . Adi, “I’ll use Musica , after all I can’t use her name in the poem , have to conceal her identity !!!”

By now I was holding my stomach and tears of laughter were rolling down my cheeks, -were we all in splits. We were creating a loud racket at this point, and slowly started to disperse before the HR –dept came down to scream at us. But the one thing we all did not forget to do is bid farewell to ‘Musica and get one last glimpse of her ‘love-apple’ producing smile’

(NOTE: I think this ‘love-apple’ word is only know in the Goan community , cause no one else in the office has heard it being called by this name.)

2007-09-15T01:22:00.000-07:00

Parallel Lines

Different worlds, different tastes,

Different marks upon our face.

Parallel lines they sometime say,

Those two darn ideas, two separate ways.

They never touch, only extend,

On and on, they never bend.

So tell me how we redefine,

Circumvent the concept of parallel lines.

Now there’s a flaw with people’s thoughts,

They rarely think out side the box.

For human beings, although geometric designs,

Have a multitude of factors, unlike theories in time.

Though each one different, we’re all the same,

We’re parallel lines on different planes.

So there are instances it happens such,

That parallel lines they sometimes touch.

Note :

While in Euclidean geometry two geodesics can either intersect or be parallel, in general and in hyperbolic space in particular there are three possibilities. Two geodesics can be either:

intersecting: they intersect in a common point in the plane
parallel: they do not intersect in the plane, but do in the limit to infinity
ultra parallel: they do not even intersect in the limit to infinity

In the literature ultra parallel geodesics are often called parallel. Geodesics intersecting at infinity are then called limit geodesics.

Through his eyes.....

2007-08-02T10:26:00.001-07:00

“Today I’m goin off site, no more classroom…..”

“I can hear these people talking about trains … I love trains …..thank god I be seeing a real one instead of that toy that they give me ....”

“Hmm ……sooo how am I goin to worry her today …………..today she definitely won’t be able to sit down!!!”

“maybe I won’t on second thoughts …..let’s see…”

“Now that I think about it, I ‘ve put her through a lot …she still loves me though….I wonder why ????”

“ have to admit , ….seriously thought that she’d give up…..broken nose on the first day ….. she never saw that coming……..hehehehe……..”

“people for a long time have never understood me ………..I guess I just got fed up tryin to make them ……”

“They speak a different language ….and if they only left language aside, they’d see what I mean…..”

“Ohhhhhhhh nnnnooooooooo, its happening again….., not now please ……owwwwww….nnnnnoooo…..the pain ………it hurts ………….my head ……my arms….my chest ……my legs…….I can’t even cry …….I’m trembling badly …….

(Thump)- (curled on the floor)

Nnoooooooooo……….I want the pain to stop……this seizure is my worst one ever …”

“They’ll leave without me ……I always miss the good things……..I don’t want to stay here alone with the nurse……..I must just give up …..make things easier for all……”

“Maybe someone form the unit will sit with me as well………yesh ….as she would say ….what am I thinking …..who would want to sit and listen to screaming …….. I wish they understood …….sometimes I feel she does…..”

E- “ I can sit with him , catch someone from the classroom”

G- “ they are going off-site today , A is never going to spare anyone ….you know how b****y she can be at times , and even if she did , no one will volunteer to stay with ….HIM …all day”

E- “look I’m not sitting , if you want to , be my guest”

“what do they think I am …deaf ….can’t believe that they still think I don’t understand”

“ she’s coming ……she’s willing to stay !!!!!!!!.......she really is mad …..or maybe she’s the only sane one…”

“ hello mr lee….you love keeping me on my toes, don’t you , my cheeky little lump ….”

“god she’s cute…”

“owww….. owwww……….owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww……”

“Another one……is it ever goin to stop……”

“ stu ….stu … think stu …. Come on focus on me…..

Come on stu , I know you can do it , I know its bad …. But you know I’m here …come on me little rascal…..who’s goin to worry me all day…….i’m here stu ….i’m here…..”

Singing - (Step by step we’re moving forward , little by little we’re gaining ground…………..………………………………tumblin down and down and down )

“I love that, song …. she knows it …..she knows me ……maybe there is hope ….maybe she’ll make the rest of them know me too…..maybe I’ll keep fighting ……maybe life isn’t that screwy after all………”

Lost Moments........

2007-07-31T08:51:00.000-07:00

I’m rushing to meet him, the excitement and anticipation is killing me ….. Nearly a month since our last encounter and it feels like ages apart. There are moments I awake in the night and reach out only to see my cat sitting beside me.

Have you ever experienced those really bad days where you just question your existence, moments where all you need to do in sink into a loved ones arms and lie there without uttering a word ???? …… Those are the moments that I miss, but the wait is over……I surprise him ….he been so busy recently, we’ve hardly even had time to have a proper conversation ……….we can also pick up those glasses, my clothes, go to the that place that he raves about to watch the sunset……, oh! and I just wanna have that burger at that ever so famous place………its finally happening,…… I’ll be there in just fo……………..

Why is time standing still? Whats goin on? Who are these people around me?

“Madame, can you hear me?…….can you hear me?…….we need to contact your family ………madame”

I stare at them blankly …….. “family?” ……….

“She’s fading again…….when is it goin to get here….”

“Damn rains, everythin comes to a standstill…….”

“Mumbai me isehi halat hoti hai”

“Every year it’s the same old story, they always say that they’ll do something and every year it’s the same old story……”

“She’s coming to again!!!!..........”

“When is it goin to get here…….. the bleeding just won’t stop…….”

“Try and keep her awake……..”

“Madame…….talk to me!!……what is your name ……..are you from Mumbai ……”

I utter his name, “I need to see him……..”

“I neeeeed tooo…….”

“Madame …..madame …………………….madame………………………………….”.

My friend, my lover , my teacher….. Lessons learnt

2007-07-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

There are a few people in life that help define our characters, helping us grow and learn about life. Some of us are lucky enough to find them not just once in our lifetime……..a few years ago , you would have seen a hopeless romantic fighting passionately about love , friendship and hope………..sadly today she still fights for the same thing. Maybe, its a select few of us that are still insane or maybe there is a whole breed of us out there…………. I guess I’ll find out soon enough…..

They say that one never really gets over their first love ………I beg to differ.

It’s happened to many of us at some point in life, we ‘fall in love’, falling being the operative word …….. I can’t really help but relate it actually falling down as a kid and bruising that knee for the very first time,……..the way we howled , probably sittin on the ground clutching our knee as it bled……..but ask me bout the second time it happened ……I don’t really recall the pain as much……….

As we older I guess, I don’t think we realize these lessons we learnt until we fall again………so what happens when it’s with your best friend ……… and what happens when fairy tales are aesop’s fables, with those morals at the end …….

He taught me to trust my instincts…….the very ones I regret dismissing when most required, he taught me to love….. only to make me hate, he taught how to believe in myself ………as he crushed my spirit , ……..he taught me valuable lessons in life …….he taught me how to survive in this world without losing myself.