Disclaimer for me!!

I wrote a mail to my ex today … a retaliation in a sense to mail sent by him ..decided to post a part of it cause I guess its true and funny as such and those friends who don’t know all the guidelines … here is an official disclaimer* to knowing me

There are a few things you may still not know about me , which I guess is my fault cause you got in the easy way the first time round ....YES I'M TOO MUCH ....
These are some of the guidelines for knowing me, all my friends know them:-
a) when i give respect i expect to get it back
b) i don't like being ordered
c) i will give you a frank opinion when you need to hear it .. no matter what the outcome
d) i love my friends to bits and they know i'll always have their back
e) this does not exclude the fact that i will slap them in their faces when they act like asses and i expect the same from them ...
f) screw me one, twice , thrice ... the fourth time be prepared for war
g) i can be very annoying and demanding at times , but i do make up for it by being sweet, understanding and accomodating as well
h) i will always be there for anyone who really needs me all days 24*7 , but i do expect them to be there at least 24*1 in 365 days
i) don't hurt the people i care about ... i may not always fight , but i will when i need to
j) don't try and understand me .. all you'll get is a migrane or worse .. most of the times i don't understand myself or know where my life is going
k) i don't have the best advice , i make things up as i go along and try to learn from everyones experiences ... that doesn't mean that its crap either ... most times it spot on ...
l) when dealin with me .... imagine your life if i did not exist in it ...if its better, then please eliminate me from yours immediately .... i really don't wanna be responsible for screwed up lives ....
m) finally be prepared for anything when you know me... i guarantee one heck of a ride if nothing else .....

Now you think not just once ... over n over if you must before say another word ...

* disclaimer is subject to additions