Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Lost Moments........


I’m rushing to meet him, the excitement and anticipation is killing me ….. Nearly a month since our last encounter and it feels like ages apart. There are moments I awake in the night and reach out only to see my cat sitting beside me.

Have you ever experienced those really bad days where you just question your existence, moments where all you need to do in sink into a loved ones arms and lie there without uttering a word ???? …… Those are the moments that I miss, but the wait is over……I surprise him ….he been so busy recently, we’ve hardly even had time to have a proper conversation ……….we can also pick up those glasses, my clothes, go to the that place that he raves about to watch the sunset……, oh! and I just wanna have that burger at that ever so famous place………its finally happening,…… I’ll be there in just fo……………..

Why is time standing still? Whats goin on? Who are these people around me?

“Madame, can you hear me?…….can you hear me?…….we need to contact your family ………madame”

I stare at them blankly …….. “family?” ……….

“She’s fading again…….when is it goin to get here….”

“Damn rains, everythin comes to a standstill…….”

“Mumbai me isehi halat hoti hai”

“Every year it’s the same old story, they always say that they’ll do something and every year it’s the same old story……”

“She’s coming to again!!!!..........”

“When is it goin to get here…….. the bleeding just won’t stop…….”

“Try and keep her awake……..”

“Madame…….talk to me!!……what is your name ……..are you from Mumbai ……”

I utter his name, “I need to see him……..”

“I neeeeed tooo…….”

“Madame …..madame …………………….madame………………………………….”.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

My friend, my lover , my teacher….. Lessons learnt

There are a few people in life that help define our characters, helping us grow and learn about life. Some of us are lucky enough to find them not just once in our lifetime……..a few years ago , you would have seen a hopeless romantic fighting passionately about love , friendship and hope………..sadly today she still fights for the same thing. Maybe, its a select few of us that are still insane or maybe there is a whole breed of us out there…………. I guess I’ll find out soon enough…..

They say that one never really gets over their first love ………I beg to differ.

It’s happened to many of us at some point in life, we ‘fall in love’, falling being the operative word …….. I can’t really help but relate it actually falling down as a kid and bruising that knee for the very first time,……..the way we howled , probably sittin on the ground clutching our knee as it bled……..but ask me bout the second time it happened ……I don’t really recall the pain as much……….

As we older I guess, I don’t think we realize these lessons we learnt until we fall again………so what happens when it’s with your best friend ……… and what happens when fairy tales are aesop’s fables, with those morals at the end …….

He taught me to trust my instincts…….the very ones I regret dismissing when most required, he taught me to love….. only to make me hate, he taught how to believe in myself ………as he crushed my spirit , ……..he taught me valuable lessons in life …….he taught me how to survive in this world without losing myself.